From the outside looking in, acting is a dream profession. The lights, the fame, the money… but with so many chasing that dream and so few opportunities to achieve it; acting can be soul destroying.
After so long being unable to work, I find myself in a place where I have no current credits, contacts or showreel. There is no-one I can call and ask for a favour, I have long since lost all my actor friends and I am having to start all over again. The problem now of course is that I am mid-thirties with a little extra weight and greying hair. (That I cover with Just for Men!)
As actors, we have to prepare ourselves for a lot of rejection before success – but what constitutes success? For the majority, landing a part in the West End or a Hollywood movie is the peak of where we would like to be; but how obtainable is that final goal? For most people, it’s nothing more than a pipe dream.
So how do I, Terry Gee get noticed by major casting agents? With a string of theatre, musicals, films, music videos and even writing credits to my name I am still nowhere closer. I don’t even have a current agent, I’m doing all of this work on my own in an already extremely crowded profession.
Casting Call Pro is one of the leading sites that offers a place for professional actors to upload their resume. It’s a great place to network, mingle and apply for jobs. CCP keep all of their members in the loop with up-to-date information regarding acting, agents and careers and in the past twelve months they have also been gathering information from their active members. Yesterday they released their findings. 1790 responded and the results are collated here.
The findings are pretty shocking, but for me the most frightening statistic is that 78% of people have earned less than £5,000 in the past year. No one can live on £5K a year, so all of those people will have a second job to substitute the one they actually want to pursue. But only 33% of employers allowed their staff to work flexible hours to enable them to act.
This is one of the reasons why I left acting in 2008. I had earned just £4,000 in a year. In fact, it was such a small amount, I actually got a tax rebate! I tried to console myself with the knowledge that I had been on stage across the world, had sung live in front of thousands of people, had been apart of a successful music video and been shown as an actor on BBC. And it worked, at least for the first few years. I actually managed to push my desire to act to the back of my mind, but there was still a part of me that wouldn’t let me forget. I never cancelled my Equity subscription. I had worked so hard to get it that I still paid the £10 a month subscription – even when I had no money at all. I knew that if I ever let go of Equity I could lose my name and lose my chance to ever rejoin the world I was so passionate about. I have never regretted the decision to keep it and constantly carry my Equity card with pride.
So what do I do now? I will be 35 years old in one month and I’m penniless – again! I know I can’t stop acting; it is a part of me and I can’t shift the intense need to perform. In my twenties, I was thin(ner) and stunning. OK, so I’m still good looking (there is no point being modest about your looks – just don’t be arrogant with it) but I’m not the spry, wide-eyed kid I once was. I dye my beard and I don’t look old enough to play ‘Dad’ but if it’s not dyed I look too old to play anything but ‘Dad’. I don’t want to be pigeon-holed into one specific role; the great thing about acting is the versatility of it and the chance to play someone other than yourself. I also don’t like how I look with a grey beard… A constant reminder that I am old(er)!
So I need a second job. The service profession is completely out of the question. With my spine the way it is, I couldn’t work behind a bar, wait tables or fry burgers (shudders at the thought). What I would like to do is freelance writing. I’m a good writer, I have edited two magazines and I love it just as much as acting. Also working freelance gives me the freedom to work on both professions. But where are these illusive writing jobs? Again, it’s a profession with many applicants and few positions.
I’m feeling a little dishearten at the moment and if I’m being honest, really scared too. I can’t lose sight of being an actor again but I have no savings and a distinct lack of rich relatives to support me. A lot of the regular part time work I can no longer do and the things I excel aren’t looking for new applicants.
There is a brilliant quote from percussionist, Mike Tetreault “give me success or take this desire away from me. One of the two.” For many of us, performing isn’t some crazy, spur of the moment ambition that goes away with time, if anything it only grows stronger. I was born to perform and giving up just isn’t an option. (I already resent every actor in every film I see.) I just need to find a realistic way to support my desire and keep on going.
#TerryGee