This is a question that has been bugging me for years, when do we actually become adults?
In two months time I will be thirty-five years old and I still don’t feel like a ‘Mister Gee’. To quote Crush from Disney’s Finding Nemo “Whoa, dude. Mister Turtle is my father.” I feel the same, I don’t like people calling me Mister as I don’t feel I qualify the age reference that goes with it.
I suppose it must be different for teachers, parents with children or American fathers.* I am a gay man so I can’t pro-create and I’m not in a financial situation where I can adopt, therefore I have no children. I imagine that being a parent at any age instinctively makes you a protector and therefore the grown-up. Teachers are the figure heads for so many younger people. For some they become role models and are certainly the only adult in the room. But for the rest of us, do we have to decide when to grow up or does society do that for us? But with so much of society asking the same question – who even knows when that is?
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| 1990 |
I know I’m not the only one of my age group who feels like I do but I’m not sure if this is because I’m gay. Every gay man I’ve ever known hates the idea of growing older and we all act like big kids… I guess that’s why so many of us are in show business. Is it as simple as that though or is it because of the time we live in. When my parents were my age, I was already fifteen and viewed my peers as old people. Couples tend to have children later in their lives now whereas my Mum was only twenty. Does that have something to do with us wanting to stay younger longer? I don’t consider myself old at all, although for the first time in my life I am finding that nearing my thirty-fifth birthday is a scary prospect.
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| 1998 |
I had the whole world at my feet from the age of sixteen. I was working in television, meeting many influential people and travelling the world. There was seemingly nothing I couldn’t do and not even the sky was the limit. But time seems to travel ever faster the more we age, and although that was almost twenty years ago, it feels more like five.
I have moisturised since my early twenties (gay, remember) and don’t have a single wrinkle, but I’m not a teenager any more. I prefer wine to beer, nights in over nightclubs and decent conversation instead of text speak… does that make me grown up? More than likely, but I’ll fight it all the way! Let’s face it, my first blog was about 80s cartoons! I still carry my youthful dreams with me and I’m still young enough to make those dreams come true.
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| Today |
I don’t think I will ever become what I deem to be a grown up. I hope to keep at least part of my childish wonder intact for as long as I can and truly hope I never become pessimistic and cynical. I see the best in everyone and am far too trusting. I still cry at Disney films, still long to be acting in Hollywood and performing on stage in front of thousands of people. I lost that passion for a while when I was nearing my thirties, but those ambitions are back with a vengeance. And the good thing about being thirty-something is that this time around I have the knowledge, experience and wisdom to back me up… Sod getting old, I’m only just beginning!
#TerryGee
*To qualify the American dad comment; I watch a lot of US TV and see depictions of younger men calling their peers sir. I’m sure it’s meant to sound respectful, but it actually sounds submissive. Is this indicative of the American people or just another Hollywood fallacy?